


Sinking (RQ)

by AmaranthPrincess21



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, Gen, Titanic!AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-14
Updated: 2015-02-14
Packaged: 2018-03-12 09:26:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3351587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmaranthPrincess21/pseuds/AmaranthPrincess21
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Time is running out. As you and your kids wait on the <i> Titanic's </i> boat deck, Bertolt is in the heart of the ship searching for lost party member Annie. Is he going to make it back in time to get to safety? Or will the icy waters of the Atlantic take his soul.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sinking (RQ)

**Author's Note:**

> This was a request from DA user T43T1M3-01, who requested angst. I don't like writing angst so I made a compromise and wrote angst, but in a setting that I'm very familiar with since the _Titanic_ has been an interest of mine ever since I was a toddler.

“[First]! [First], wake up!” It felt like consciousness hit in you the face with a cinderblock as you woke up. Your head was reeling and your eyes were burning; you couldn’t have gotten more than three hours of sleep.

“Bertolt, what’s wrong?” you asked, sitting up in bed and gently rubbing your eyes. 

“I think there’s something wrong with the ship,” he said, throwing the blankets off of him and getting dressed. You groaned, pulling the pillow over your head. 

“There’s nothing wrong with the ship, Bertl. It’s late and you probably just heard something weird down the hall,” you told him. “The _Titanic_ may be a luxury ship but God knows as long as there’s steerage there will be weird things happening.” 

“No, I think something’s going on!” he insisted. Fully dressed, he went to the door of your small, third-class cabin. “I’m going to go see if there’s a crew member somewhere on deck. Get the kids dressed in case we need to evacuate the ship.” 

“Why on earth would we need to do that?” you challenged him. “This ship’s unsinkable. There’s no need to be scared and there’s no reason to wake up Reiner, Marcel, and Ymir. We’re going to be arriving in New York soon and they need all the strength they can get and that means getting a good night’s rest.” 

“Please, [First]. Just get their things ready in case something’s wrong.” The look on his face was one of pure distress. Sighing in irritation, you nodded. 

“All right. I’ll get their things ready.” Bertolt gave you a small grin before leaving the cabin. From their bunk beds, Marcel yawned and sat up. _So much for letting the kids get some rest,_ you thought with a twinge of resentment. 

“Is something wrong, Mrs. Hoover?” he asked, giving you a confused and sleepy look. Reiner woke up as well, looking very displeased at being woken up so early. 

“Are we already in New York? I feel like I only slept a few hours,” he said. 

“No, we aren’t. Bertolt thinks something’s wrong with the ship,” you informed them. “He thinks there might be an emergency. Pull some clothes on and get your life vests, just in case,” you instructed them. As the boys got ready you glanced at the bunk above yours at the sleeping figure of your daughter, Ymir. Miraculously she’d manage to sleep through the whole argument, but with Marcel and Reiner awake, you figured it was time to wake her as well. 

“Ymir, get up.” You shook her shoulder and she woke up almost immediately, eyes shooting open and giving you a dirty, albeit tired, look. 

“We’re all going to die, get your life vest on,” Marcel told her bluntly. 

“We’re not going to die,” you said, giving him a stern look before looking back to Ymir. “There may be something wrong with the ship. Get up, get dressed, and put your life vest on.” 

“Isn’t this ship supposed to be unsinkable though?” she asked, climbing down and pulling on a dress over her nightgown. 

“It is but Bertolt thinks something’s wrong and you know he can get worried very quickly,” you said, helping her with her life vest. You decided to leave out the fact his intuition was right most of the time. There was no need to scare her and the boys. “He’s gone right now investigating but he’ll be back at any moment to tell us what’s going on.” 

“Did he even say what he thought was wrong?” Ymir asked curiously. 

“No. He was too eager to leave to tell me anything,” you said, feeling a twinge of irritation flare up in you. _Why is it that during these moments and he’s panicking that he never tells me what’s upsetting him,_ you thought. _He leaves me in the dark and he acts as if that’s okay._ By the time Bertolt returned, you and the kids had gotten fully dressed, placed your valuables and money in your pockets, and had time to play a few rounds of tic-tac-toe. He hurried in, looking distressed. 

“I met a steward down one of our hallways. He said they’d been told to tell everyone to get up on the boat deck. Everyone, grab your money and papers and store them somewhere safely on your person.” 

“Did he say why?” you asked, grabbing the extra life vest and handing it to your husband. 

“No. He’d said none of the stewards down here had been told why we’re meeting on the upper deck. He said once we get up on top we should ask and that they may know. He was in a hurry to get everyone out of their rooms so he didn’t really talk,” Bertolt explained as he pulled the bulky garment on. You bit your lip and nodded. _That doesn’t sound good. Is something really wrong?_ Your eyes flickered over to the kids. 

“Do what Bertolt says. Let’s head up to the boat deck,” you ordered them. The five of you were out the door in seconds, joining the crowd in the hallway. 

“Dad, how do we get out of here?” Ymir asked, looking around the corridor as other passengers started to hurry in different directions. 

“I’m not sure,” he admitted, looking around as if to see if someone knew how to reach the boat deck. “I think it’s down this hallway.” He pointed to the left and you all didn’t waste any time heading over down that way. No one was running, but people’s shoulders slammed into you as you made your way down the hallway. You sighed in relief as the stairway came into sight. But as soon as relief came, horror dawned on you as you saw the stairway was gated shut. Your [e/c] eyes found Bertolt’s green ones. _What now?_

“Okay, let’s go and try the other way,” Bertolt said. A thin façade of peace was on his face. Knowing him for so many years, you could tell he was really panicking under his somewhat collected look. _Does he really think this is that bad,_ you bit your lip, nodding as he took the charge and led you down a different path. A young girl opened a cabin door and it nearly slammed into Reiner’s face. She couldn’t have been older than seven. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes as she took in the scene in front of her. 

“What’s going on? Why is everyone awake?” she asked you, icy blue eyes meeting yours. 

“We don’t know. We’ve just been ordered to meet on the boat deck and to wear our life vests,” you informed her. “Where are your parents? Shouldn’t they be with you right now?” 

“I have no idea where my parents are,” the girl said with a nonchalant shrug. “They’ve been gone for a while.” 

“You poor thing. Come with us. We’ll get you up to the boat deck.” You offered her your hand. She gave you a blank look. 

“I know how to get to the boat deck,” she replied. “You just go up the stairway over there.” She pointed to the path you had just taken. 

“We went over there and the gate’s locked,” Bertolt explained to her. 

“I can pick it,” the girl said. “There’s another gate at the top but I can take care of that. From there we should be good.” You glanced over at Bertolt. He nodded as if to tell you, “We should take her with us.” 

“What’s your name, sweetie?” you inquired. 

“Annie,” she answered. 

“Annie, would you like to come with us or would you like to wait here for your parents?” you asked her. 

“If we’re all in danger I’ll come with you. There’s no point in waiting around for my parents,” she said. _What a dark little thing._

“All right then!” you said, trying to be cheery. “I’m Mrs. Hoover and right there’s my husband, and then this is Reiner, Marcel, and my daughter Ymir. We’ll get you to the boat deck safely and we’ll help you find your parents.” 

“Okay.” True to her word, Annie was quite adept at picking locks, managing to unlock the gate in a little under a minute. You all hurried up the stairs, letting Annie take care of the second gate that let you into the second-class decks. The hallways were like a series of mazes, turns and dead ends seemingly around every corner. It was disorienting. You’d take a turn and go straight into another one. You wish you could have stopped and rested to catch your breath and let your head take a break from the horrible reeling sensation. Not to mention the floor was starting to slant very badly, making you terrified of a misstep and sliding down bac k down a staircase. 

The air was bitterly cold as your group made it to the boat deck. A few people were playing games with huge chunks of ice but the majority of people were standing or sitting around in jackets and life vests, looking incredibly displeased at having been woken up in the dead of night. _Oh thank God, we made it,_ you thought as you sighed in relief. _I thought for a moment we weren’t going to find our way._

“Annie, thank you so much for . . .” You had turned around to thank the tiny blonde only to find her missing. 

"Wait, where's Annie?!" Bertolt said, looking around frantically for her. 

"Wasn't she just with us?" you asked. _Oh no, where could she be?! What if she got lost in the ship,_ you wondered, your stomach slowly sinking to the floor with every second that passed. _She seems to know the ship well but what if she got lost? What if someone grabbed her?_

"When was the last time you saw Annie?" Bertolt asked the kids. 

"When she unlocked the gate leading into the second-class area," Marcel answered. Reiner and Ymir nodded in agreement. 

"We need to split up and try and find her. Marcel, stay here. Everyone else, let’s go find her. She can’t have made it far. Stay on the boat deck,” you instructed everyone. You grabbed your daughter’s hand and the two of you started walking towards the bow of the ship while Reiner and Bertolt ran towards the stern. You and Ymir yelled for Annie until your throats ached, sifting through the crowd in search of the girl. 

“How could we have lost her?” you thought aloud, trying to ignore the nauseous feeling in your stomach. 

“She was at the back of the group,” Ymir pointed out. “She could have decided to walk when we were all running.” 

“I suppose but you’d think we would have noticed her absence earlier,” you said. “She got us to safety and for all we know she’s hurt and lying in wait of help.” You and Ymir reunited with Bertolt, Reiner, and Marcel. They hadn’t found Annie either from the looks of it. _Oh no, she still must be below deck,_ you thought as worry started to wring your gut even harder. 

“You didn’t find her?” Bertolt asked. 

“No. There’s no sign of her on the boat deck,” you reported to him. His eyes flickered to the floor, nodding his head. 

“I'm going back for her," Bertolt announced. 

"Bert, no, you can't go back! What if we get separated?" you protested. 

"That's a risk we have to take. She helped us to safety and we need to return the favor. I have to go find Annie." He fished his wallet and a few family heirlooms out of his pocket and thrust them into your hands. "Hang on to these while I'm gone. I'll be back in no time." 

"Bert, please. I don't want to lose you. What if something happens?" you said, feeling salty tears burn your eyes. 

"Nothing is going to happen. I'll be back before you know it. I love you, [First]." 

"I love you too, Bertolt." You gave him a quick kiss before he ran towards the stairway, descending into the ship. 

"He'll be fine, Aunt [First]," Reiner comforted you, patting your arm. "He and Annie will be here before you know it." But as the minutes went by, there was no sign of Bertolt or Annie. A little girl no more than three years old found you and latched onto as she’d lost her parents. _I lost a child and gain one,_ you thought wryly. The little girl, Historia, squirmed a little in your arms, trying to get comfy. _I just hope Bertolt and Annie get here soon._

“Reiner, how long has it been since Bertolt left?” you asked him. He pulled out his pocket watch and glanced at it. 

“Thirty minutes ago,” he answered. “But they should be back any moment, Aunt [First].” He was trying to comfort you, you knew that, and he meant well but as the deck started to slant more and you could see part of the boat deck submerged you couldn’t accept his good intentions and his fake words of comfort. 

"Wait, I see Annie!" Marcel cried out. "ANNIE! ANNIE, WE'RE OVER HERE!" She perked up and hurried over to your group, pulling her hoodie close to her body as she joined you. She had a small ginger girl in tow as well as two older men. Your eyes scanned the deck for Bertolt but you couldn’t see him anywhere. Not with Annie and her new friends, not behind them. Nowhere. 

“Where were you?” Ymir demanded. 

“I dropped my money and went back for it,” she replied. “I ran into them and helped them up here,” she added, jerking her head towards the men and little girl. 

“Where’s Bertolt,” you asked her urgently, eyes still scanning for him. 

“I don’t know. I haven’t seen him since the second gate,” she replied and your stomach dropped. _Oh God, where is he,_ you thought, gut twisting into tight knots. _He has to be here somewhere! He can’t have just left! He’s here somewhere, but where is he?!_

“Ma’am, we need you to get in a lifeboat.” A sailor approached you, motioning for you and your group to get into a nearby boat. 

“No, we’re still waiting for someone,” you protested, staying firmly on the ground. 

“Mrs. Hoover, we should go,” Marcel said, tugging on your sleeve as he stood up. 

“We need to stay for Bertolt,” you argued with him. 

“Ma’am, everyone else has cleared out,” the ashy-haired man companion of the ginger girl said, gesturing to the fairly empty vicinity. “Listen to the man and take yourself and the kids onto the lifeboat.” 

“No, I -” 

“Uncle Bert can catch up with us later,” Reiner interrupted you. “He wouldn’t want for us to wait.” You bit your lip and reluctantly nodded. 

“Yes, he wouldn’t want that,” you agreed. You stood up, making sure you wouldn’t wake the napping Historia. The black-haired man caught your free arm. 

“Take Isabel,” he said, pushing the ginger girl towards you. “She needs to get on a lifeboat and frankly I don’t want her on her own.” 

“What?! I’m not going with her!” Isabel protested, clinging to the black-haired man. “Levi, I need to stay with you!” 

“Listen to Levi and go with the nice lady,” the ashy-haired man told her sternly, prying her little fingers off of Levi’s arm. You grabbed her hand and started pulling her towards the lifeboat, fighting her all the way there. 

“No! I’m not going to go! I’m not going I’m not going I’m not going I’m not going,” she screamed over and over again, pulling and squirming and kicking and fighting. Reiner ended up grabbing her and hauling her over his shoulder, keeping her secure (but not quiet). He had to fight to keep her down in the lifeboat as you all climbed in. Not many seats were full so they had plenty of room to wrestle around in. The commotion woke up little Historia, who yawned and looked up at you. 

“Where’s my mummy?” she questioned. 

“I don’t know sweetie, we weren’t able to find them,” you told her. She shivered and snuggled into you. 

“I wanna go back to my cabin and sleep,” she said. 

“I know, honey. I know.” There was still no sign of Bertolt as a few other women climbed into the lifeboat. Soon the area was devoid of any women or children and the sailors manning the lifeboat sent it down the side of the ship. 

“Wait, but we still have so much room!” Marcel yelled up to the sailors. “We can let on some more people!” 

“There’s nothing we can do about it, Marcel,” Annie told him sternly. “The others will probably get into another lifeboat.” 

“But we have so much space!” he said, gesturing towards the empty seats. 

“Then we just have more room to sleep,” Ymir shrugged. “It’ll be fine. Calm down.” 

“Try and get some sleep, Marcel,” you told him gently, putting a hand on his arm. You looked towards your other charges, giving them the best smile you could manage. “In fact, you should all get some sleep.” But none of them looked convinced, opting instead to stay up. A few lifeboats drifted around yours, but they were too far away for you to tell if Bertolt was in one. _Please, Bert. Please be in one of these. I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to you, especially after I openly doubted you._ You bit your lip hard, trying not to cry. 

The ship was angled horribly, the rudder completely out of the water, and before you knew it the lights on the ship went out. Screaming and shouting were punctuated by the faint sounds of people diving into the icy waters below. Historia started crying at the sound and you had to try and cover her ears to block it out. Isabel was screaming, Reiner and Marcel having to hold her back as she kept trying to jump overboard to join her companions. 

The ship kept tilting, completely vertical in the water as if began to sank. _Just make it stop,_ you thought, scrunching your eyes shut to avoid looking at the terrible sight. The ship continued is descent into the hellish waters below, dragging innocent lives under water. The sound was horrible, loud booms mixed with shuddering and rattling. It added to the already deafening roar of people’s screams of terror. _Just let this be a horrible nightmare I wake up from soon. Stop the sinking. Stop the screaming. Just stop_ everything. 

And if by some horrible twist of fate, the cries for help and sobbing slowly dwindled down, leaving a silence more terrible than any sort of chaotic din. The kids all seemed shell-shocked, staring at the floor of the lifeboat. Historia and Isabel were sobbing, Isabel giving up swimming to her friends and snuggled into your side and Historia your chest as their tears soaked your clothes. It felt like someone had sapped all of the moisture out of your throat as you held back your tears. _I can’t cry in front of the kids. If I lose it, they’ll all lose it,_ you thought, running your fingers through Isabel’s hair. _If there’s a higher being out there listening to me, please, let my husband be alive. I don’t know what I’d do without him. Please, let him be alive. Let me see him again in this world._

It was almost sunrise before a ship came to your aid. The sailors helped you all out of the lifeboat and onto the ship. They gave you blankets and a small breakfast. Your stomach felt so sick you ended up giving half of your food to Ymir. She was a growing girl, after all; she needed all the food she could get. Although you felt relieved at being rescued, you wanted to arrive in America already; the sooner your feet were on solid land, the better. You never wanted to get on another boat ever again. 

A day at sea passed and you hadn’t found Bertolt. Granted, you were busy taking care of five kids, half of them a huge handful. Historia’s parents had found the two of you and took her away, thanking you absentmindedly and giving you a small sum of money for taking care of their daughter. Annie and Isabel had yet to reunite with their families and in the meantime stayed with you and your bunch. Reiner and Marcel offered to go off and search for Bertolt, but after what happened on the _Titanic_ you forbade anyone to leave the group unless it was to use the water closet. During this time a sailor came to you all and asked for your names. You all told him what he needed to hear and you asked about your husband. He hadn’t been recorded yet, the sailor had said, and once they collected all of the survivors’ names, he would find you and tell you if your husband’s name was on the list. 

By the second day you’d heard the _Carpathia’s_ sailors saying the ship would reach New York in a day. There was still no sign of Bertolt and while you didn’t want to think about it, the horrible realization that you may be a widow attacked your brain. 

_I can’t do this without him,_ you thought, snuggling with Isabel as she struggled with waking up. _I can’t raise Ymir without him. I can’t watch over Reiner, Marcel, Isabel, and Annie without him. I can’t_ live _without him._ The hard sound of men’s shoes against the wooden deck struck your ears and hope flared in your heart. You shot up, looking towards the sound only to be disappointed. Isabel noticed the sound too and woke up completely. She nearly screamed with delight as she ran towards her two companions, hugging Levi’s legs. You hurriedly got up and followed her, greeting the two men. 

“Thank God you’re alive,” you told them, shaking their hands. 

“I know. It’d be awful if you had to adopt this brat,” the ashy-haired man said. 

“Hey!” Isabel shouted indignantly. He only smirked. 

“Thanks for taking care of Isabel,” Levi told you. “We just got out of the medical wing and we’ve been looking for her all morning.” 

“How many people are in there?” you inquired. _Maybe Bert’s in there._

“Ten, fifteen? Not a lot,” the ashy-haired man replied. 

“Do you know if my husband’s in there? He’s very tall, brown hair, green eyes,” you described him for them. They both shook their heads. 

“I don’t think we saw anyone like that down there,” the ashy-haired man told you. “I’m sorry, ma’am.” 

“No, it’s all right. I’m sure he’s around here somewhere,” you said, feeling an ache rip through your throat. You bid each other farewell and they left you alone with your brood of children. 

_If Bert was alive, he’d have found us by now,_ you thought as you sat back down in between your daughter and new ward. Your eyes caught a glimpse of the open sea. It had been such an exciting sight at first but now you never wanted to see the ocean again. You just wanted to be on safe, secure land with your daughter, your nephew, and your two wards. Some peripheral movement caught your attention. One of the _Carpathia’s_ sailors, the one who’d taken your names right after you were rescued, walked up to the five of you. You wasted no time getting up and meeting him halfway, hope and dread starting to swell in your heart. Reiner took your place beside Ymir, letting her rest against him while you stood up. 

“Mrs. Hoover, it’s good to see you again,” the sailor said. “Just this morning we concluded recording all of the survivors. I went through the names and your husband’s name wasn’t on the list. I’m very sorry, ma’am,” he said. It felt like you had been hit with a ton of bricks. 

“I-I understand,” you nodded, tears pricking your eyes like a thousand needles. Who was going to help earn wages to support your family? Who was going to help you raise your daughter and nephew? And your two wards? _He can’t be dead,_ you thought as you joined the children. _> Bertolt can’t be dead. He just can’t be. _

“Mom, what’s going on? Where’s Dad?” Ymir asked curiously. It was as if a dam broke, your tears breaking through the wall you careful put up to protect the children. Your chest heaved as your tears rained down like a storm from the heavens, despair flooding your body at the realization you were a widow; a widow that would have to raise three, maybe four, kids by yourself. The realization you were never going to see Bertolt again. The realization he would never get to see his daughter grow up, get married, have babies of her own. You were staring into the abyss of the future and without Bertolt, the future felt bleak and darker than the night. 

When you first started the journey, you knew you would be starting a new life in America. But you had no idea you’d be starting this new chapter of your life without your soul mate and you were at a complete loss of what to do without him.


End file.
